At Elisa’s Tutorial School we have been focusing on developing student’s confidence in writing a story from their everyday experiences. This week I am sharing with you a piece of writing from a student aged 8.

“On Tuesdays, my ugly piano teacher comes to my house at 4pm. She is very harsh on me. She shouts at me and she gets very annoyed with me for nothing.

My piano teacher’s name is Julie Samuels. (name changed to ensure confidentiality) She is quite big and I think she is in her 60s. She has 4 grandchildren. She thinks she is as grand as the queen. Well, she has sweaty, long crinkled fingers. She wants me to play grade 1 pieces. I am not even at grade 1. Then she starts to shout at me when she gets it wrong. She doesn’t help me at all. I wish I could tell her so or shout back at her. I get annoyed when she gets annoyed because she wastes time for 10 minutes.

When she talks to my mum she says that I did appallingly, when I tried my best. Then she says I have to have a proper piano. She only lets me play my favourite piece once and my worst ones a 1000 times.”

Teacher feedback:

WWW: (What went well) The student manages to evoke sympathy for the narrator and uses a range of diverse vocabulary such as long crinkled fingers and a simile “as grand as a queen”.

EBI: (Even better if) The student remembered to use the written format for numbers in her writing such as ten minutes, a thousand times, etc.

 

Hope you’ve enjoyed this post and if you would like your child to develop their creative writing please contact us here.